Predictable old me.

January, and it's resolutions pretty much went up in smoke. I drank 3 times in the month, after planning not to drink. I didn't lose any weight; but didn't put any on either, and I only managed to get 270 miles done on the bike; which I guess can be excusable because of the weather, and I didn't really advance my maths knowledge as far as I'd liked. We're in February now, and I am still a maths retard. I was doing linear equations, and quadratic (sort of getting, but not quite); but I've realised after doing one of the level 2 papers, that I need to swat up on the more remedial stuff first, before I press on. I have until mid June to get up to speed; I've never been confident about getting the B in Maths; but it's the only option that I have, so I must go with it.  If I don't get a B, then I don't get the position it's as simple as that.  If I keep procrastinating, then it's my own damn fault if I'm moaning on here about not passing, come August.  I had my third English language assessment back, in which I got the top band; so that's 3 in the top band so far; next week's controlled assessment, is the 'rant' - I have a feeling I will get maximum marks for that. So, I'm ticking over nicely for an A in English, and I'd like to think I'm ticking over nicely for an A in Literature as well. The sciences, maybe A's, possibly B's. I've felt so sorry for myself today, and yesterday. What's passed is past.

I had a tax rebate last week, from 2007;  and I also had a few winners on the horses, so I went in to spontaneous spending mode; and as I type this, I now have little money left. But I'm pretty happy with my purchases:

1: Seaworthy; adrift with William Willis in the golden age of rafting - T.R Pearson
A novelist, pretty much summarizes my HERO; William Willis' adventures. I've been meaning to get this for a few years now; I guess it was on my wish list. I look forward to reading it.

2: The Real Heroes of Telemark - R Mears
Not really a fan of Ray; I think he's a pompous scrotum; but to be fair to him, this book is fantastic. I'm interested in this, obviously, because of Knut Haugland taking part in the raid, before his exploits on the Kon-Tiki.  I've read it, but it was that good, I felt I should buy it. The gripping account 2 Norwegian resistance operations, gunnerside, and grouse; just about sabotaging a heavy water production plant at Vermok.   Heavy water is instrumental in getting a nuclear reactor going; so the stakes were high! Although it has recently been shown that the barrels that they "sank" didn't contain enough of the stuff to be a danger. Still.


3:  I'd recently watched a cracking documentary called Deep Water, on the none stop around the world Yacht race, in 1968. I was particularly interested in Donald Crowhurst; who essentially, went mental, and pretty much killed himself, but we'll never know. I have the book to read, I've had it for a while; Tom Mcnally, the fearless atlantic crossing record holder gave it to me. I was also interested in Bernard Moitessier - The Long Way - Who essentially, was about to win the race; and decided that he would turn his boat around, and carry on sailing around the world. I'm very eager to read this book.  I've also purchased Robin Knox Johnsons' A World of My Own: The First Ever Non-stop Solo Round the World Voyage - I guess he won the coveted prize by default. I'm sure it will make for some good reading.

4. I purchased "The best of: The Kingston Trio" on CD

5. Had my mudguards fitted on my winter bike, and I also purchased a pannier, and a rack bag; so my winter bike looks like I'm a right "tourer" - I guess you've got to be into cycling to know what a "tourer" actually is. My definition is "Middle aged/Elderly male, with a bike fitted with lots of baggage; slow travelling, and probably carrying NOTHING AT ALL"  I'll basically be using it for my long rides, so I can take food/water/waterproofs. I also purchased some new electrolyte tablets as I've ran out of my SIS GO. I was doing 70 mile rides last year, and when I started on the electrolytes, I was getting about 20 or more miles before getting totally drained. These one's I've bought have fewer calories.

Fucking Christ,  I'm starting to bore myself now. To be honest, I was bored when I started writing this.

I also spent £200.00 on a weekend in Krakow, Poland. Last week, I was kicking a can; moaning to myself about not having the money to get away; the next day; BAM- tax rebate. I am going with my friend from my days at secondary school, Paul. It should be funny, with my volatility, and his OCD; it should make for an odd weekend to say the least. I will try and borrow a camera and take some pictures of shitty old buildings and such. There's the option to visit the concentration camps; but, I'm really not sure this is something I want to do; I will decide when I get there. So, In just 2 weeks time, I'll be leaving for Poland. I'm still scared of flying; but, I need to face the fear, because, when I become a deck officer, I'll be flying all over the show.  I wasn't supposed to pay that much, and I'm pretty much as cheesed off as I can be. If you book via Icelolly.com, be sure to do some background checks on the company before you even ring them; my company, "Deal of the day holidays" - part of "jetline" are absolute cretins, and should be avoided at all costs.

Spanners and that....

Okay, In the past I've been a bit "elitist" towards those people who like songs just because they have appeared on TV programmes. "Overkill- Men at work" was on scrubs....and became popular....there's a few more that I can't off the top of my head think of.   Anyway, that's not important. As self certified "Bohemian"  I have to say that Stevie Nicks is power. This song is perfect, heartfelt, and the melodies just fit perfectly with the whole concept. This was on a new episode of south park called "You're getting old" - Really struck a nerve with me, and induced quite a considerable amount of reflection of myself.  Yet more output from Trey Parker and Matt Stone that are pretty much bang on. The "You have 0 Friends" episode, pretty much highlights how far social networking has come from the infancy days of the internet...remember geocities?  The episode about motorcyclists being "Fags" is fucking amazing. I know it's a gross generalization, but people who ride motor bikes are compensating for something in their sub-conscious mind that is amidst. For instance when a motorbike is stationary in traffic...."vroooom vrooom vrooom" - 'Look at me, hear the roar of my engine'. Wow. That makes up for your 4 inch dick.....Back to south park.  Pretty consistent with music content :

Styx - Sail away

Kansas - Carry on my wayward son

I need to check out some more Stevie Nicks.

I took Evelyn to her school today; she's starting school in September.   You just have to blink, and the years slip by. I can't get my head around it. She's bright as a button though; and Emma is doing an Excellent job of making her into the little lady she is. 

Approaching the arse end of yet another year in the sense that we're closer to the end than the beginning, and I'm planning my next steps to "get back on track"- how many years is it going to take me to "Get back on track" ? At the end of the day, It's my own personality traits that are the principle cause of my shortcomings, I want something, I either get it, or lose interest and want something else. I think it's safe to say that my desires to join the Merchant Navy isn't to be tarred with the same brush as all the other 'options' that I've pursued. It's definitely not a quixotic idea...well no, it's quixotic, but it's from the depths of my whole being. I want it. It's taken this long, what's another year.....well, a year, if I get on this block of GCSE's I've applied for. I spoke with the course head honcho today, and there's quite a bit of competition. I have to get my shit together sooner rather than later. The assessments are in August. That is providing I get an assessment. If I don't, then I'm pretty much snookered. Back on the dole.  I don't want to think of that. I'm a lot of things, and one of them is a realist. I'm confident that positive thinking will save the day on this one. I'm employed up until the end of august; if I don't get in Liverpool community college, I can always go local and do three GCSE's at college locally, and pay for the other 2; so as I write this, the wheel is turning and I'm pro-actively planning. There was a second earlier today, not long after I put the phone down from the college chap, where I was thinking of getting tanked up this weekend. Thankfully, it was a passing thought, that was soon quashed by my current charge towards "being a better person" - what ever that means? I'm looking after myself, and I'm making more of an effort with my nearest and dearest, because that's something I feel I've singularly failed to make the most of for as long as I can remember. I have turned a corner though. There was a time when I'd drink 4 times a week, eat all sorts of shit, and generally not give a flying rats arse about anything; myself included. I feel more human. I know we are here for a good time, not a long time, but I just think one more year of doing what I'm doing and I'll reach my goals. By next September, Starting up in the Merch, and 15 stone will do me nicely. Yes, it's a constant war, but, I will soldier on. 

Just started reading a book called "The stormy voyage of fathers day" by Hugo Vihlen. Given to me by Hugo's sailing 'rival' Tom Mcnally. In exchange for that, I borrowed to him two William Willis books; the two separate accounts of his Trans-pacific adventures. I was bigging William Willis up to Tom no end, and he said he was aware of him. I'm realizing now, after starting this book, that Tom is probably one of the closest things to William Willis currently alive on earth. I guess Willis' books might be a little tame for him. It'll be interesting to find out his thoughts. It was funny the first time I met Tom, he asked my what boat I've got, to which I replied . . 'I've never been on a boat, apart from the ferry'. So how can someone have such an ardent interest in obscure mad men who cross oceans....the dreamers...the mentalists? I'd like to think that some day it will be financially viable and conceivable for me to sail away. 

Whilst writing this Christine has put on the aforementioned (in my blog) 127 Hours;  I haven't really been paying attention to it though and I would ask that you read my previous post pertaining to this "matter"  There's so many things that are more interesting than a zany tit who got his arm stuck under a boulder. Jesus wept. Danny Boyle, you shit head. 

My arse has gone numb now, so I'll back off from being episodical-

Canary Islands (Oh how I love my archipelagos) in less than 3 weeks, and a cycling/B&B tour of the south west of England at the end of August. Been feeling increasingly isolated over the past month. :(

Felix_von_Luckner  - Of the German Navy. A gent of the highest order! It was his habit of successfully waging war without any casualties that made him a hero and a legend on both sides.  (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Werner_Hartenstein - another Hero of the kreigsmarine.