I'm on my way to my last Physics GCSE exam earlier today; and I 'tweet' "Bibby
This merchant navy contract I am waiting on; I don't think I have wanted anything more in my life." - Just 5 minutes after this; my Dad rings me, and tells me the good news. There's an envelope with lots of papers that need signing to be picked up. My contract for my Merchant Navy training. The feeling eclipsed that time I got a Sega Saturn for Christmas, and there was me, thinking that feeling would never be surpassed.
So, it all seems a little closer to fruition now- That dream of navigating boats around the world, and to be paid for it, is one step closer for me...never mind the working dream, but there's the dream of living on my own little yacht, somewhere in the Mediterranean which now seems a little step closer too. I guess now, I can draw a line in the sand, and move forward- God...I sound like one of those god awful managers that exist, in call centres, just below operational management level!
Over the past few years, I've spent hours and hours....days, daydreaming about where my life is going to take me; will I find what I am looking for? Will I ever be satisfied? I guess the way I see things now, are much more philosophical; and I am not afraid in the slightest of following a dream; or pursuing something that I want. I guess I owe that to my idols; William Willis, Fred Rebell- I need to add Moitessier to that list now; after recently finishing the fantastic "The long way"
I think back to my life in 2007; working in a plankton level job, in a banks' call centre; on 12k. 27 +stone, depressed to fuck, revelling in crapulence. The wake up call that put my arse into gear about my health and weight, was going to the doctors; and being told; "You are morbidly obese, your blood pressure is high, and you are diabetic" I decided then, I was going to sort out the mess I was in. Everything was a mess; I was, my life was, I was going nowhere....fast. Ultimately, I was not enjoying living.
Since that point of realising change was essential, and a long term career was needed, I have been plugging away, bit by bit, getting to where I am now. A few credit control jobs, here or there, and a bit (Lot)of time on the dole, which in it's self has been challenging- My friends in my home town doubted me, and had their two cents about me not working, and to a certain extent, there was times where I doubted myself. Sure, I could have maybe got a full time job, a long term job, but I would have regretted not following my dream for the rest of my life. I've hated being skint all the time, and I thank God for the people who are close to me, for putting up with my apparent lack of...well...money! Living on buttons can be rewarding, especially when you can eat for a week, pretty comfortably; off £20.00 (thanks to ALDI), and you see people in Tescos spending £££'s on their weekly shops! But, on the other side of the coin, it's shit, because there's not much else spare; if you want to buy anything, or go anywhere. I set myself a goal, and I've kept plugging away until it has been reached; there was a point in 2010, when I had my 2nd rejection letter from the Royal Fleet Auxilary; where I was just thinking of throwing in the towel- I'm glad that I didn't, and that I am here now; seemingly in a better position than I would have been had I have joined the RFA- I would have been a Coms' rating. Being a deck officer suits me better anyway! I feel like the Dad, in Little Miss Sunshine.
I'm buzzing right now.
There's still a long way to go, before I'm relaxing on the deck of my own Contessa 32; happy with my life, and career, with an ice cold glass of Sangria, watching the sun set over a cloudless Mediterranean sky. You might be thinking "he's got his head in the clouds this one" - Well, it all began back in 2007; static, in a seemingly prospect-less job, shockingly unhealthy. I'm the turd that won't flush. I'm about 9 stone lighter; I am the fittest I have ever been; and most importantly, I'm happy, and I have my training to look forward to. There's work to be done; but I'll be damned if all this has been for nothing! I want to enjoy the shit out of my life.
Thanks for reading x